update on life in england

I really don't know what do say...
a couple of really good things, some really weird things and some not too good things happened in the last week(s).
I mean first of all Im just a bit fearful concerning the future. I got loads of prophecies that I shouldn't worry about it and that Gods gonna show me where to go step by step and that sorta thing. But I also got a prophecy that in the near future Im gonna have to make a decision either for the world and against Gods will or the other way round...I mean I know Hes never gonna take his blessings away from me no matter what I do ..and it was totally not intended to freak me out but it feels weird. I just don't wanna make the wrong decision. And I think I kinda know what it is about. Some people really want me to come back home in June and live a "normal" life..go to school than to uni and all that stuff. But at the mom I feel like I really need to do something else. I don't know what it is...but Ive got a couple of dreams in my heart. I know I wanna have some people around me that are really anointed in certain areas like prophecy and maybe music...I just wanna have spiritual fathers and mothers. And I mean mr devil did a great job in taking my family kinda away from me...so I wanna have it back. I wanna live knowing that there are a couple of people who father and mother me. Just spiritual parents that I can learn from. And I wanna travel around...see different places to enlarge my heart and my mind. I mean I don't wanna put God in a box and I wanna hang around people who have more wisdom and more experience than me.
I know there are some people in germany that I can learn from and I know that I want to and Im gonna spent time with those people...so that I can learn and maybe they can learn as well.
But I just don't feel like I'm gonna stay there for the next 3years or anything.
Id love to just be somewhere learning from someone Gods showing me...or doing something totally different in Toronto or Bethel or something like that. I mean these are all just dreams...but Id love to see how some of them come true.

I keep on thinking about what it actually is that God wants me to do. And somehow I believe he wants to use the very thing that has hurt me the most. I more and more just get his heart for the fatherless and I really wanna see orphans that realize that there is a father for them and its the perfext father. I wanna see orphans rising up and relizing that I are his beloved children. And I don't know how but I know Im gonna see that. Maybe its gonna be "real" orphans...but it could as well be just those who had a really bad childhood and never had a really good father.
And I really wanna grow in the prophetic. I know that there is a certain gift in me...Im not saying Im a prophet or absolutely anointed but theres no point saying theres absolutly no gift in taht area. I mean I find it easy to prophecy most f the time and I really believe God wants to use that gifting.
I already realized that I give more specific words sometimes. And it gets easier with every time.

Well as I said some really good things happened in the past time.
Some people on the streets got healed or at least better. Whenever we do worship on the streets you just see how the athmo changes. People just stop by because they can sense something is different with our music.
Some people in our weekly healing room prayer got healed. Somebody weve been praying for for a while actually got healed of cancer.
A lady we prayed for just this past monday had really bad backpain. And she knew about Jesus but didn't know him as friend. And she absolutly doesnÄt know about the Holy Spirit. But as we prayed she said she just felt that kind of energy going through her body and something huge moving in her. And well...God is quiet huge;)
I mean that was just amazing...we didn't make her move or shake..and she didn't even know that this can happen when God touches you. So she just felt His presence and was totally amazed. And pain actually got a lot better.

For me the last days were kind of challenging. I just realized how much I changed but also how long the way still is ...and God has shown me some areas where I'm jsut still kinda hiding.
But I know hes gonna keep working on my heart.
Well I just wanna trust God that He provides for me and shows me what steps to take. I don't wanna think about money or anything like that...or about how impossible my dreams are.

be blessed,
Kaddi