It has been one of this days spent thinking about life for me today. I'd been thinking about who I am and what I do the whole day. It's freaky..I don't know why I'm thinking so much while other ones can just take things and live life. I don't know...
and I'm always thinking about love and why things are the way they are. I could spend my life taking one after the other, drinking something...maybe that's kinda fun...but all I do is loving one man without thinking about other ones you know..that's crazy...why me?...
And the best thing about it is, as it always is, the one I mean is probably thinking I'm just a little girl which is in love for some days or weaks, which likes him because he's just goodlooking, which doesn't know anything about life and that everything is just a period I will leave behind when I become older...maybe tomorrow...
haha..sorry, that's so awful...that's months ago and again and again I'm thinking about it, I should stop it now. It's over and I know that...he knows everything and I know the answer...
do I?
Everytime I think about it, it's as if my heart would say: it's not the end of the story, and you know that. He's the one God planned for you...and it's always like that when i think about it.
I know he's not perfect even if I might talk about him as if he'd be...and in fact I just DON'T KNOW what God has planned for me...how should I?..I can only imagine...but there's this feeling...not just anything like love...it true...
I just don't know how to get trough it...how to come to a point, an end or something...
I know what I want...I truly know it, and it could be wonderful...but once again I just can't get it...
because of....I don't know..anything.
I can't stand this situation although I know I have to and I know there are many other things I've to do in my life...but all I can think of is the special someone...and I can't stop thinking that he might do the same one day. yeah....one day...maybe...haha, I'm so ridiculous...sometimes.
whatever...
so I spent another day thinking ...without finding out anything important...maybe it has to be like this...maybe God wants me to learn something out of this situation ..up to now I can't see what it might be, but maybe when I get a little older..haha...I'll see..