...

...God just loves me eventhogh I do all that shit.
Sometimes I just feel like I can't go and sing Him songs and seek His face when I do so many things wrong. And every time I think that I go and try to do it on my own and I'm still standing anywhere between "doing it on my own" and "total surrender"..
well God would never force me to love Him and so it's just my choice.

Yesterday I had been in Deggingen - churchnight. Was fun..really..but i think I expected more. dunno why. But I always think like "boom and there is the change"
..