thoughts..

"Now I need you more than ever.."

Well sometimes you just wish to have somebody close to you. This one special person that God planned for you. And yes I stick to this thought that God planned someone for everybody who wants someone. Maybe just because it camls to think that there definetly is someone for me ...maybe yeah but that's ok then. Dunno why I have to think about this at the moment...or the last days. It doesn't leave my mind these days.
And eventhough there are so many things that should be done I just stick to thinking about some things. Which is not only bad I think cause at least today it didn't make me feel worse or something(which is often the case) but it was ok. I felt like it was the right thing to do today. God wants me to dream..that's what i think. I think He likes it when I long for MORE. More life. more love. More of everything that He wants to give to me. It's not easy for me. And I'm not alright right now. But I'm on the way back home..(allthough I dunno if I ever really had been at home..)
Maybe I'm just standing, or sitting on the way..but I know that I will make it and GO the way. For that is what God wants me to and I really wish that I WANT to do what He wants me to. Not because I have to but because I love Him. and I wanna learn to LOVE him. But before I have to understand what it means that this one big God in heaven loves me...the way I am RIGHT NOW. I'm unperfect and I still stick to sins sometimes and I still do things that don't please God BUT He loves me. Nice thought but I know that I haven't really got it up to know..

Well let's see what God will do in the next days/weeks...