excitement

This is just crazy. Cant be real.
Im thinkin bout me and Lizzy as we sat in Neuffen last year in december ..we thought that it would be cool to play some of our songs there. And today were doin it.....we are gonna play our songs infront of....well I dont know how many ppl. But for us this is BIG.
Well Im tryin not to think about it too much. Im not tryin to think about all the faults that happened in our sample two days ago....
Until now I cannot reli imagine how it is to sit there and play our songs....and this is not in Kirchheim. This is not just for our friends...this will be infront of ppl that dont even know us right now.
Im gettin excited...

And yesterday I realized that I only got 5shifts or something to work until england. Means I will be gone soon. In 4weaks I will already be in england tryin to survive the first day...;)
This makes me feel eve more excited...but in another way. This is deep deep inside. This is how u feel when u know that something might gonna change your life in some areas...and u know that there are some areas noone reli ever got into. This is how u feel when u know that u r givin yourself into the ends of God in a way u never reli did before. I dont know anyone over there...well I know names...seen ppl. But that doesnt mean its real friendship. And as I know someone ..called devil...doesnt want me to go there..I got all those fears inside of me. I fear that Im to shy and might not be able to make friends cos Im weird...and I fear that Im gonna go crazy cos I wont have my guitar with me...and I NEED a guitar to put my feelings into songs n to praise the Lord. This is just the way it is ..I cant live without it. And all that stuff gives me reli strange feeling. Im not even able to to pray or think about. Im pushing it far far away...and I know thats the wrong way. Cos things need to be done...
But atm I feel like a lil child that needs some help from its father...