bleeding,...

This is nothing new
No no just another phase of finding what I really need
Is what makes me bleed

Ahh well..and what is it? What do I really need..is it Jesus Christ?
I think so. Cause nobody else could ever love me everywhere and all the time. And nobody else can always see how my heart aches. Cause humans are just too stupid..and I'm so fucking stupid too. i don't really see how I hurt people around me and they don't see how they hurt me. Sometimes it's just something they donÄt see, or something they could have said ...or something they could have done but didn't do it. It's so hard to see when my eyes are on me..
So should I try to see through the eyes of the Lord? Well I know I should ..but how to do this? How?!
Why do I always have to be the strong person, the person who's always listening and understanding.. some people still don't understand that they've hurt me in a way I won't ever forget. It's NOT OK to beat your children and it's NOT OK to leave them alone!! And it's NOT OK...that I love her and hate her in the same second...
fuck fuck fuck...