What a day today...Tobi is leaving in a few days and I had to recognize that I'll really miss him. I'm so glad that he found his place and job in Columbien and I wish him the best and much fun. Jesus with him. But I'll miss him, that's fact. I can't explain how happy I am that I came to his homecell a year ago, he teached me (I think without really realizing it^^) some important lessons, he's a wonderful person with a heart like...just WOW;).. and I just have to say THANK YOU:)

And I made another "walking home from Dettingen after LL" - experience;) Today I was kinda unhappy walking home cause of Tobi who's leaving and cause of the sermon in LL which showed me some parts of my heart that are really hurt. So I walked and cried and was unhappy and talked to God not really accusing but in an unhappy way, you know? I just had to say that I'm hurt and that it feels as if some things are not OK right now and that it sometimes feels as if there'd be somebody hurting me even more. And He answered...He said that He's trying to shape my heart cause I asked him to do this and He asked me if it's a good way to destroy a rock with a file. I said "No" thought it would take very long time to destroy it with a file. And than He asked if it's more effective to use hammer and chisel and I said "yes". He asked if I really think that He would do bad things to my heart and I simply said "no"...I think God sometimes has to use kinda hard methods but HE would never do bad things to us. Maybe it hurts a little bit from time to time but He'd never do anything I could not bear. That was the first thing I heard on my way home...second thing was that I asked Him about trust. I simply had to know if I(although I trust him) can ask Him "how far is it?" and He showed me a situation in a car. There had been a child asking his father "how far is it?" but even if this child has little patience it would never open the door of the car while it's still driving cause it trusts his father that it would get hurt if it would do so. I understood what God wanted to say. I AM allowed to ask "how far is it?" but I should not open the door before we got where He wants me to be, know what I mean?...I put my trust in Him...