changes

Forget about the trip that you've been on
Or so it seems
Nevermind the lies that you told, my tears

Look what you did
Is this who you wanted me to be?
Well it's not me

Look what you did
Is this how you wanted it to be?
This life you gave away
Was meant for me

I don't know how I can face this pain
I'll keep it inside so you can't see
I don't think I can go on this way, 'cause it's not me

Well I kept all of this inside way to long. This is not anymore about being what others want to see. I always tried to be strong and to do EVERYTHING so that YOU feel alright. Well I failed and I know that ...but how could a child take care of all that stuff? How could a 15year old carry the weight of all your freakin pain?! Its just not possible. I always thought Ive just veen to stupid but thats not true...
In the past year I more and more began to realize that this has never been me...and now Im gonna become what Im created to be. I know that this is painful...its already begun. It feels like everything that you once sticked to is just not true.
But well its just the best thing that can happen.
I dont wanna wear that mask anymore just so you feel alright. Im NOT alright. But Im becoming free now...and this is why I will go to that School of Minitry no matter what.

I'm not suposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands (how I feel)
I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb

I try to hold this Under control
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone
Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone
I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn
It feel like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world

I try to hold this Under control
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm blind and shakin'
Bound and breaking
I hope I make it through all these changes

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, I hate this
But I'm going through changes, changes

Well I feel like I cant bear it most of the time. I cant go through all that stuff...but its taken me way too long to come to this point. And I think that its my chance to just let go of the past.
And I know that this changes are good cause my God is in control. And he wont ever go too fast for me...he just holds my hand and wants intimacy with me.
And I wanna become someone who reli is a child of the king!! I want that people FEEL that theres something in me that is different...I want them to feel his wonderful love through me...like they felt it when Peter passed(in Acts)
I wanna see people that repent just because they felt that wonderful love of the father...

I will trust.